If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
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She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
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Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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