i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
