I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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