never play flip cup with pint glasses
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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