Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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