Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
