Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
