Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
