Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize