We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
