Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
