well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
