the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
