FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
