the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
