I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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