Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
