thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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