dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
