So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
