Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
sarcasm needs its own font
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize