if only i could text you this smell
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
