you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize