There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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