Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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