i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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