Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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