dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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