Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
