i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
