I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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