He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
