It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
