I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize