So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
