Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
No subtext here. People are naked.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
