You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
