So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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