Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
