Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
