thus making me awesome and them whores
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I fill condoms, not promises.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
