sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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