We need to start having sex underwater more often.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize