Sry I called you an 8
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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