SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
