i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
