you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
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He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
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The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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