Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the day after is always just damage control
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
