One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
