You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
