Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just google imaged poop.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
