If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
