the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
