I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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