I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
