I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
