please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
People in love make me want to vomit
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
