you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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