I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
someone get that fucking seahorse.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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