Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize