So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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